Against the wind...

Tough, but amazing, run this morning. I have been having sleep troubles lately and my doc has me undergoing a bunch of tests/gave me a prescription/thinks I might have a crazy thyroid or sleep apnea. I always pegged sleep apnea as something afflicting the obese/elderly, but apparently not in all cases. My girlfriend insists it isn't, however, as she's seen me sleep many times and there appears to be no gasping. Whatever, that's not the point. The point I am trying to make is I managed to get a good night's sleep last night and, in spite of an annoying head-cold, I clocked 7k this morning at a good pace and actually enjoyed my run.

I've been feeling rather tense about the half marathon in the last couple of months. There doesn't seem to be enough time to train; it's too hot in the summer anyways; I'm the slowest of my group; I can't seem to get enough sleep and I feel like I have no juice in the tank. All of these little niggling worries have built up to be a giant "YOU CAN'T RUN A HALF MARATHON" monkey on my back. This Saturday morning, annoyed after yet another night of 6-hours-only, I plain old didn't go for my long run, and considered my exit clauses. Maybe I could fake an injury so I didn't look like a total moron for having built a little team of runners and encouraged everyone to join in and then not do it? I just felt awful at the prospect but it didn't feel like I had any choice. If I can't sleep, how can I run?

So I got a good sleep on Saturday night after a hilarious camping mishap, and then again on Sunday. Woke up on Monday feeling like I might actually be a runner, had a good, hilly 5k, and then went off to the doctor to talk about my insomnia. Just talking to a professional seemed to light a giant weight off my shoulders. Maybe I'm not crazy? Maybe there is something going on, physiologically? Or maybe it isn't physiological at all and I can start some targeted talk-therapy to figure out why the hell I can't get no-ZZZZs.

Fast forward to Monday night - I start to feel sick with a cold earlier in the day and my energy and over-all joie de vivre is waning. I can't sleep. I can't get comfortable. I start to have anxiety. I push my alarm forward and decide to skip the gym workout for Tuesday morning. Come Tuesday, I'm up at 6am regardless, and exhausted. I leave work early because my head/face feel like they are going to explode from the sinus pressure, and work from home that afternoon. Come evening, I fall asleep on the couch by about 8:30 and crawl into bed an hour later.. and sleep. SLEEP. And sleep some more.

This morning I wake up with my alarm, wipe the dust off my brain and get out the door shortly after. and I run. RUN. There was even a skip in my step, I wager. I run for all the reasons I started running - the fitness, the quiet, the meditative calm, the internal challenge, the gorgeousness of the outdoors in the morning, and more. The weather is perfect, my pace is good, the run goes well. Afterwards I started thinking about my plan of attack for the half, the email I am going to send out to the office soliciting funds for our chosen charity, the post-run celebration and, generally speaking, how good I am going to feel once it is done.

I guess sometimes you have to go all the way to the other side to appreciate where you are right now, and where you can go.

The importance of sleep

All the research out there shows that you need sleep not only to function, but you need extra if you are going to be an "athlete" like myself. Well, let me tell you, I learned how NOT train in the last couple of weeks. I've been having trouble getting more than 6-7 hours a day, which I think you can suffer through if you're reasonably sedentary? A suburban commuter? But for someone who runs/works out 5-6 days a week and walks or bikes to work (still shaking my first at the jerk who stole my bike!), I gotta tell you, that just doesn't cut it.

On par with not eating well, training and lacking in sleep seems to accomplish two things:
-overall fatigue
-major muscle soreness

I started out Saturday morning having a shameful little cry of frustration. The alarm was set for 7:15am so my honey could go to work and I could power through a long run. The night before I had shot awake too soon before my alarm, and then Saturday morning 6am rolled around and I was awake and couldn't get back to sleep. I hadn't gone to sleep until probably around 11:45-midnight, so I was confused. I hadn't slept enough, why was I awake? I laid in bed, attempting more shut-eye, but it was no use, so I got up and drank some greens+ and read the paper. As soon as my girlfriend got up and asked me if I was ok, the waterworks began.

So it appears that lack of sleep also accomplishes:
-general emotional distress
-overall suckiness.

Saturday's long run was an exercise in... hell. My running buddy was also overtired after a week of 12 hour workdays, so we scaled back the scope of our run from 18k to 15k, and set out. The one thing that seemed out of whack, other than having what felt like absolutely NO juice in the tank, was that I was thirsty, thirsty, thirsty. I went through my water rather quickly. All in all it wasn't a totally shabby run, but certainly nowhere near my best.

Fast-forward to this morning, my weekly kick-off 7k. I managed about 7.5 hours of what felt like DEEP sleep last night and felt like a new woman. I maintained an approx 6 min/km pace (which is my best pace, really) and felt strong, fast and capable. No encouraging self-talk required!

Now, the challenge at hand is figuring out why I am not sleeping. My sister, frustrated for me, has ordered a ridiculous/fancy night mask from Australia for me (consequently, my girlfriend did the same thing on the same day.. hilarious), I've got somewhat effective blackout blinds, and I'm going to see the doctor to get a check-up. We'll see. In the meantime, my goal with the upcoming half marathon is to finish healthy and happy, and not worry about time. It's the first one, and it's 21k. I just want to cross the finish line still smiling!